Pulse
by Eden Lies
Summary: You could easily think yourself a saint and in reality be the very definition of a sinner. Kakasaku, AU, dark . Oneshot. Prequel to Strawberry Gashes.


Hey everyone, Merry christmas! As a present of sorts I've written this oneshot, and I'd say its kind of a prequel to Strawberry Gashes. I don't own the characters, they belong to Kishimoto. The Picture Of Dorian Gray belongs to Oscar Wilde, and I am in no way trying to claim credit for it. The story definitely doesn't have a mood befitting the holiday season, but oh well. =D enjoy!

* * *

**Pulse**

_**(Pulse)**_

_What am I doing here?_

_Empty chairs, empty dance floor_

_It was crowded just a moment ago_

_The psychedelic beats have disappeared_

_Beats still resonate in my mind_

_Heart, mind, heart_

_Empty heart_

_Where has Sasuke gone?_

_I can't remember_

_Not that I care_

_All I can recall is the taste of thick champagne_

_I'm drunk, and I know it_

_I can't speak_

_I'm alone_

_Why am I so afraid?_

_Shuffles_

_**(Pulse)**_

_Shuffles_

_There is someone else in the ballroom_

_My skin crawls in horrid anticipation_

_A hand reaches out for me and I look up_

_It's Kakashi-sensei_

I blink, and all he does is smile at me through his mask. He seems so warm, caring. I can't help but to be swayed by this display of kindness. His hand is still outstretched, waiting for me to take hold of it. I smile and my pulse quickens as I reach out and take his hand.

_**(Pulse)**_

I'm in the backseat of his car now, tucked in a warm blanket that he gave me. It was in the trunk, he said. Kakashi-sensei has turned the heater up in his car, and I feel warm, so warm. I can't help but to think that part of the warmth I'm feeling is radiating off of my teacher.

He's driving me home, even though I've protested against it. I've grudgingly given him the directions to reach my house, and he's diligently following them. I peer out of the window, but it's much to dark to see anything. I can't tell how close or far we are from our destination. I'm snapped back to attention by the sound of Kakashi-sensei's voice. He's asking me about what I was doing there in the club before he found me. He says he's worried about me. I don't answer, but to him my silence is answer enough. He's intelligent enough to figure it out, after all. I'm bearing all the symptoms of a heartbroken girl who's just lost her first love, and he can probably smell the alcohol in my breath. Kakashi-sensei remains silent after that. He understands.

His car slows down and finally comes to a halt. He unfastens his seat belt and turns around to look me in the eye. Even in the darkness, his gaze is so intense my heartbeats can't help but to speed up a few notches.

_**(Pulse…)**_

_**Thump, thump, thump**_

I finally focus back on what he's actually saying. He's telling me to hurry back in, and that my parents must be worried about me. He laughs and says they might think I was caught by the big bad wolf or something. I laugh too, but my laughter is dead and hollow. I can tell that it scares him-I'm so young, but I seem as if I'm ready to die. Even big bad wolves have feelings, I say, and I see a flash of something else in his visible eye. As soon as I see it its gone. Still, it had made him seem wild, insane, and animalistic. Even in the state I'm in, I'll never forget it. My eyelids seem to become heavier. My voice is slurring, and I can feel a certain thickness in my tongue. I sigh, and go drunkenly on to tell Kakashi-sensei that my parents don't care about me. He says he cares about me, but I don't believe him. He puts his hand on my shoulder, and and even through the numbness of the alcohol in my system his hand feels as if it's burning my skin. What's wrong with him? I shrug his hand off without a second thought. Unfastening my seat belt, I open the door of the car and take off into the night.

* * *

Its once again the beginning of a boring, regular school week. I'm right in front of the large mahogany door of the school. I look up and take in the cloudy sky, and for some reason I get the feeling that it might rain today. I shake my head and run a hand through my short pink hair. I tug on my uniform to make sure it's in place, I open the door, and make my way inside. I walk through the empty halls, lined on both sides with lockers. The sound of my shoes on the linoleum floor reverberates through the empty hall. I'm early today, for what reason I have no clue. I probably just woke up early, that's all.

I reach my locker and set down the books I've been holding. I turn the lock to the right numbers, and it opens smoothly. Since I've gotten here early, I take my time arranging my belongings, and I let my thoughts drift. I focus on some hypnotic beats residing somewhere in the back of my mind. The sound reminds me of my own pulse, and then I wonder where I've heard the melody before. I decide to just close my eyes for a little while. The next time I look up the hall is already full of students, who've all arrived just in time for classes to begin. I spy my friend Ino amidst the crowd, and she turns around when she feels my eyes on her. Ino throws me a worried glance and mouths, _Where were you? _

It is only then I recall that I never returned a phone call she had made to my cell phone. Her message had been somewhat frantic, and I could tell that she really was worried about me. I'd heard the message at the beginning of the weekend, and had been too..busy…to deal with it. I had been getting ready to spend some time with Sasuke, after all. Sasuke. My stomach plummets when I think of him. His black hair, his equally black eyes. His pale, pale skin. I'll never see him again. I close my eyes and take a calming breath. I gather my wits again and remember I should apologize to Ino. By the time I look up and try to mouth a _sorry _back at her, she's already gone.

* * *

I sigh as I look out of the window of the classroom. It's raining steadily, just as I thought it would earlier. The wind has also picked up, and I can see red and brown leaves being blown around the sidewalks. I blink at look at the clock on the wall. I'm in my second to last class of the day-social science. I hate this class, but really I just hate the teacher I have. Her name is Anko. She feels as if she's on top of the world, and I swear she has the biggest god complex I've ever seen. And, of course, she hates me because I never pay attention to her. I've tried, really. It's just that I don't learn anything from her lecturing. Whatever, I might as well listen. Just as I begin to tune into her speech, the bell rings.

A mad crush of students make their way to the door and try to push their way out. I roll my eyes, and actually pack up my stuff like a normal person. Getting to the door a few seconds later makes no difference to me, and its actually easier to get out. Most of the students are gone now, and as I take my leave I can feel Anko's glare burn holes into the back of my head. I make sure that the door closes harder then usual behind me.

Once I get to the hall I need to focus all of my attention on not getting crushed or pushed around by the sea of students. I reach the end of the hall, and manage to make a left turn. My legs automatically carry me the last few feet until I reach a familiar classroom. It's my last class of the day, English. Kakashi-sensei's class.

_**(Pulse)**_

_**Thump, thump**_

I enter and take my seat as I search the room for my teacher. He's not here yet, but then again he's almost always late to his own class. I can't help but to grin somewhat nervously at his tardy habits. My pulse is still racing, and I know this isn't good. I close my eyes and pull a cover over my feelings. My eyes flutter open and already I feel better. I observe the movement in the room. More and more students pour in, and by the time the bell signaling the start of class rings the only person missing is Kakashi-sensei. We're already used to this, so most of the other students in my class begin conversation with one another. I just stare out of the window to my side. Like my last class, I happen to sit in the seat closest to a window. All the better for me. I watch the weather. The rain hasn't died down yet, and in fact it seems as if it were coming down even harder then before.

Suddenly the door bursts open and in walks our teacher, rain-drenched from head to toe. He doesn't turn to us just yet, and instead takes off his wet suit jacket. Kakashi-sensei places the jacket on the back of his chair, and he finally looks up to greet the class. No one responds to his greeting, and I get the distinct feeling that I'm the only person in the room that even cares about his presence. His visible eye is scanning the rows of students, and all of a sudden he's looking straight at me. I remain stock-still, and I won't release the breath I'm holding. His gaze seems to see right through me and he isn't moving and I'm getting really nervous and-he cracks a brilliant smile. Even though most of his face is covered by his customary black mask, I can imagine what his smile looks like within my mind. I smile back at him. Still, as radiant as his smile is, I'm beginning to be bothered by his eye. Sure, there are layers of comfort, kindness, and warmth, but deep inside I can tell there's a darkness I know I don't want to see.

_**(Pulse…)**_

A chair creaks and I realize that the both of us are in a room full of other people. I break my concentration on him and I look around. The _whole room _is staring at us. They were all watching the silent exchange going on. Kakashi-sensei offers no explanation to the class, scratches the back of his head, and begins the lesson.

I squelch the uneasy feeling inside of me and I take out the book we're reading in class. It's called _The Picture Of Dorian Gray_. On some days we simply read or write about it individually, but today is a class discussion day. On the chalkboard, Kakashi-sensei writes down two names: Dorian Gray and Basil Hallward. He makes each name a separate column, and then once more turns to face the class.

He says that today we will compare and contrast the characters. He begins taking volunteers to fill in the chart. One of the more intelligent boys in my class raises his hand, and Kakashi-sensei calls on him. The boy, Neji, says that Dorian is purely a figure of evil who hides behind an innocent appearance. The girl next to him laughs, saying that Dorian reminds her of the big bad wolf in the tale of Little Red Riding Hood. I'm unpleasantly reminded of the conversation I had with Kakashi-sensei back when I was in his car…

Even though Kakashi-sensei writes Neji's point down on the chalkboard, he seems angry, almost. I wonder why Neji's characterization of a person who isn't even real bothers him so much. He asks Neji if that's what he truly believes about Dorian, and Neji replies with a yes.

"_Don't you feel the least bit sorry for Dorian? He wasn't always how he is, and maybe he isn't truly evil, in a way."_

_Neji's pupiless eyes remain hard._

"_No. Actions determine a person, regardless of what they think. You could easily think yourself a saint and in reality be the very definition of a sinner."_

_

* * *

  
_

It's after school now, and I'm sheltering myself from the pounding rain by sitting under the roof of the school building. I've already missed the bus, so I'm waiting for the weather to clear up a little before I walk home on my own. I feel really cold in the thin cotton of my uniform, but at least I'm not wet. I take a seat on the cement floor and lean back against the building. I close my eyes, but before I can doze off I feel a presence beside me. I open my eyes and glance at Kakashi-sensei, who's just taken a seat on the floor next to me. Ever since his class today I can't get rid of an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. He talks to me.

"_Hello, Haruno-san."_

"_Hi."_

"_What are you doing here, all by yourself?"_

"_I'm not by myself anymore."_

_He grins._

_My stomach sinks down even further._

"_So tell me, Haruno-san, what do you think of my class?"_

"_It's alright, but why are you so worried about what others think?"_

_I remember Neji._

"_I'm not worried about what others think, Haruno-san, I'm only worried about what you think."_

_My heart stops. _

_He goes on._

"_See, I'm very much like dear Dorian Gray. I'd hate it if you came to fear me, you know."_

"_What gives you the idea that I'm afraid of you? You helped me out a while ago, after all."_

_He smiles a cruel, predatory smile._

"_Sakura, you're shaking."_

_I try to shuffle away from him._

_He grabs my arms with his burning hands and brings his face close to my ear._

_His breath is hot and disgusting.  
_

_I can't escape._

"_You'll never be able to run away from me, Sakura. I'll always be here, waiting. Since you can't escape, why not just give in completely?"_

_**(Pulse)**_

_**

* * *

**_And there you go! I hoped you all liked it, and even if you didn't feel free to tell me.


End file.
